Friday, November 12, 2010

McRib: The Liveblog

Blur-B-Q (TM James Lileks)
Once every three years, I try the McRib.  I'm due.  Hit the break for the full rundown.

1:51- In the car, heading back to the office. McDonald's food smells vaguly like a barnyard. Chicken or Cow Manure? No idea, first noticed it around 2006.

1:57- High-C Orange. More fast food places need to offer Caffeine free high-fructose corn syrup.

1:58 - The McRib box says 'created just for you' This statement is technically true.

1:58 - This is a messy sandwich.  Trying to figure out the easiest way to extract it from the box.

1:59 - Slightly better then I remember. Not as spongy or sickeningly sweet.

2:00 - Onions an pickles? Not really bringing a lot to the table.

2:01 - Why doesn't this thing have cheese?

2:02 - This is a pork product, right? Wait, beef? Do I really want to try and find out (No).

2:03 - Seriously, needs cheese. Mcdonald's signature is tiny diced onions and a unique flavor of American cheese.

2:05 - Aaaand gone. Not much to write home about, though inoffensive. I can say this about fewer and fewer fast food meals.

2:06 - Mcdonald's really does have the best mainstream fry formula.

About 10 minutes to eat, and who knows how many years off my life?  Despite being edible, in my mind it's still a failure because proper guilty-pleasure fast food is something you can't get at home (at least I'm my equations), and there's no end of chunk-formed meat-slabs that you could cover in barbecue sauce.  Now, flame broiled smoke flavor?  Deep fried anything?  That unique chemical flavoring that McDonald's puts in most of their other products?  That's what fast food is all about.


2:40 - Not feeling well, overwhelming desire to nap.

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